On the Edge

And I mean it in a good way! Every year, we all take a look back at what has happened in the outgoing year before facing the new year head on. This year, I say "Whew! Glad that's over!" Not that I regret having my baby, not at all. She's the single greatest thing that's happened to me since meeting hubby. There just was so much else happening this year. J spending four months in Oklahoma was hard. Hard like falling and landing on cement hard. Hard like getting hit in the chest with a basketball pass from a pro hard. I know I'm a strong person, but being apart from him really was a major challenge. And I shouldn't even complain! He came home to visit twice, wasn't in a war zone and it was only four months! I should be thankful. He came out of the experience with the skills to start his dream job, and some life experience that made him grow up really fast. I feel so blessed that after a year and a half, he finally started his dream job.

Aside from the pregnancy and the new job, our marriage underwent some serious testing. Wow, I just read that sentence and I had to stop and reread it over and over. Pregnancy or a change in jobs can test a marriage all by themselves, but we had both and more happening. We relocated 100 miles to be closer to the new job. And, we had some very personal things happen. It was kinda one of those things where you don't really know what you'd do until you're in it. I'd like to think I handled myself pretty well. I don't wish my experience upon any other newlywed, but I'm actually very glad we were tested. My faith in my husband was completely solidified. Trial by fire, I guess. We had a few rough patches, but what marriage doesn't. We sought help, gave it our best and put it behind us. I know we are a much stronger team because of all we endured together in 2007.

Exactly one year ago tonight, I was drinking like a fish with some old friends from school. That was the last time I was rip-roaring drunk. I had a great time! My last tequila shot was one year ago. I thought maybe this year for NYE, I'd pump and dump so I could really enjoy myself. And on second thought, I don't want to nurse a hangover and a baby Tuesday morning. Bad idea. I'll just take it easy.

Sometimes, I wish I didn't choose to breastfeed my daughter. It can really feel like a chore, especially when she's on the verge of a growth spurt. But then, I take a good look at her and I feel good knowing that all the growth she's done is because of all the good food I've given her. It's a strange sort of accomplishment feeling I get that I never anticipated. I know I'm doing the best thing for her and all I have to do is make sure I keep myself well nurished.

I'm keeping up my first New Year's resolution. I intend on discussing the rest of my resolutions with J tomorrow. I've got big plans for this year: get a handle on our finances, train to run a 5k by June, get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, breastfeed my daughter past 6 months. Those may sound a bit vauge here. I do have very specific plans that I need to write out in order to make these things happen. I love this time of year. All the possibility of the new year is just around the corner. I can't wait!

Having Company

I've got a few moments of quiet to put some thoughts down in words. Ah. . . a little slice of peace.

My dad and my brother flew in on Sunday to visit. Our whole day was spent getting the house ready and tracking the flights to know when to pick them up. Dad flew in to SFO and S flew in to San Jose. Since then, it's been a flurry of shopping, cooking, eating, cleaning and visiting. The apartment is cleaner than it's been in months and yet I still feel that I have a million things to do before Christmas.

I celebrated my 26th birthday on Tuesday. My wonderful hubby made me a yummy birthday breakfast before we all went Christmas shopping at the mall. I normally hate the mall, but it seemed a necessary evil this week. We took the baby to see Santa Claus, and hubby and I knocked out quite a bit of our shopping list. For dinner, we met my mom for dinner at Benihanna's. It's the first time I've had dinner with both my parents in a long while. Seeing as how they have been divorced for almost 8 years and my dad lives in Iowa, the opportunity rarely presents to have a meal with them. They managed to stay civil for the duration. I enjoyed some sushi and had my favorite: steak and shrimp. All in all, it was a good day.

Yesterday was hellish. There really isn't any other word for it. I was a stress case from beginning to end. First, I couldn't find my bank statement to balance my check book. Not a huge deal, because I could print it off the internet, but hello! Where could it be? If I didn't accidentally shred it (highly unlikely) than it's somewhere it shouldn't be and that makes me nervous. Then, as I was getting ready to take my dad, brother, baby and laundry over to my grandma's house, I couldn't find the house keys. I looked high and low for 15 minutes, all the while the baby's getting upset because we interrupted her nap. Finally, I just locked the doorknob and left. Turns out, hubby took both sets to work by accident. Lovely. Once we got settled at Tata's house, the baby started freaking out. Big time. By the time bedtime rolled around, she'd been crying for an hour. Nothing was working. She kept crying for two more hours, and I was getting more and more tense because I couldn't take her home. Remember, no house keys till hubby got home at 11pm! I called the doctor's office because Kirsten was really working herself up and nothing I was doing was helping. So not normal for my kid. Because of certain factors, the nurse wanted me to take K to the ER to be evaluated for some intestinal problem. I load everybody and the laundry back into the car and head to the hospital. I'm not really panicked, but I have my brother drive anyway while I chill in the back seat with the Baby. Of course, she falls asleep as soon as we get moving. At the hospital, she woke up and starts smiling. Yes, that's right, smiling. I felt like a complete moron. Here I was, really nervous that something was really wrong with my baby. The nurse took one look at K and asked if I really thought she needed to be seen. By then, K was smiling and happily babbling to anyone who even looked in her direction. I didn't even bother doing the intake paperwork. We took her home and she slept the whole way. Ugh.

She's sleeping now, and has been for almost 3 hours. I LOVE our baby swing. Somedays, it's truly a lifesaver. After fighting her naps for almost a week now, she's getting a solid nap. I'm happy.

My aunt and uncle are on their way for a visit as I type. They should be crossing the Bay Bridge if traffic is ok out there. I spent my morning running around, cleaning the house for their visit. It's one thing having my dad over. It's a whole other ball of wax having extended family over. A whole new level of clean :) Maybe I'm neurotic, but whatever. Thankfully, they left Sacramento late, so I've had time to relax and catch my breath.

Speaking of running, hubby got me out of the house this morning for my walk/run. I ran for 3 minutes, twice, as part of today's scheduled workout. It felt great!!! I remember why I loved running when I did it. I definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoys solitude.

Ok, my deli sandwich has arrived, so I must go.

So much to do . . .

and so little time! I always feel this way around the holidays, but even more so this year. It really shouldn't be surprising given that I have a 3 month old baby now. I so often feel like I need to do all the decorating, all the cooking, baking, everything from scratch. As my husband says (while in Michael's, as he's watching me drool over all the Martha Stewart craft supplies), "Where's the seeds? You know, the seeds to plant the trees to make the paper for the scrapbook?" I get a good giggle from that. Maybe I need to start taking a page from Sandra Lee's Semi-Homemade. Take advantage of that which is already ready. ::Sigh:: But I wanna make it all by myself! Oh well. I'll do what I can.

I had a super-grumpy child this afternoon. Our morning went very well. I was able to get us out of the house in time to get to my Weight Watchers meeting (yes, I'm one of those women, but more on that later) and then to Costco to pick up my Christmas cards. I am determined to get the cards out the door on time this year, instead of sending them just barely before New Year's. Note: I actually ordered photo cards this year, instead of doing the lovely handmade photo cards I had hoped to make. I did make my address labels. So there. K did so well with our errands. Being home was a totally different story. She needed a nap so badly, and fought so hard to go to sleep. Now, I suppose I could have been a bit more patient and just sat with her in my lap while she slept. The Christmas cards were calling! I was dying, just sitting there not able to get to my cards without waking the child. And when I tried to put her down, and we're talking multiple attempts here, she'd wake up almost immediately. After an hour and a half of this back and forth, I finally plopped her in her swing. It took 15 minutes, but she conked out. Woohoo! I was able to get my cards in the envelopes, print out my address labels and stick them on the envelopes. I also printed a handful of my baby announcements to tuck in with the Christmas cards. Hey, why not kill two birds with one stone! By the time the hubby came home, I was ready for our family walk. K came along, all cozy in the moby, and we got our 15 minute walk done.

So yes, I do Weight Watchers. I did it for all of 2006 and lost about 15 pounds. I had hoped for more, but I just didn't work the program as well as I could have. I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant (just after new year's 2007), and I went back as soon as got clearance from the doc's office. I am happy to report that i lost 0.8lbs this week. While it's not much, it's right where I need to be since I'm still breastfeeding. That makes a total of 4.4lbs. I'll take it. In addition to doing WW, hubby has encouraged me to take up running again. I found the walk/run program I did a few years back and we've started it again. I say "we" because he's taken it upon himself to run with me as extra encouragement. Today was day 3.

Well, I should hit the sack. All the cards we've received so far have been hung, the felt for the stockings has been cut out, and a few more baby announcements have been printed. Mission accomplished.

What's new at home

Having a baby has changed my outlook on life big time. The holidays are so much more meaningful and magical. Magic has certainly been happening in our house the last few weeks. Baby K found her feet and has been spending all her time trying to hang on to her little tooties. It was so neat to watch the development happen. She found her right foot first, and it took another week and a half to find her left. I'm just waiting for her to try putting her toes in her mouth. She's been close, but not yet :) We finally had some informal Christmas photos taken this week (thanks to my cousin) and just before we got started, K rolled over! She was on her back and rolled to her tummy twice! There's just no trusting her now. I included one of the shots of the baby. Gotta love the yawn :)

My husband and I rearranged our living room in an attempt to freshen things up in our apartment. Sometimes, I get frustrated living in a small space and just need to shake things up. I am so much happier with the new layout. It feels so open and roomier than before. More floor space and more wall space now. I really have no excuse to avoid decorating now ;)

My dad is coming to visit this weekend and will be here until the 23rd. We're all very excited because he lived in Iowa and we usually only see him once a year. Yay for two visits! Of course, he wants to see the baby for her first Christmas. I think he'll be spending half his nights here and the other half at my uncle's house.

Some friends of ours threw a Christmas party this past weekend, so we took the baby on a road trip to see everyone. The host proposed the hostess during his toast - priceless!! We knew about it ahead of time, so we were able to catch the whole thing on video. We stayed overnight and took the baby to our old church in Davis the next day. It was so nice to see friends we hadn't seen in 6 months. K had her first real playdate with two other babies. It was so neat to her smiling and looking at the other little girls. I think I have a little social butterfly on my hands.

I've never been much of a journaler, but with so many blessing in my life, it seems silly to not document all that goes on. I guess this might be like an early New Year's resolution: capture as much of the year in writing as I can. I know 2007 was a huge year for my family. If 2008 is anything like it, we're all in for one wild ride!!